Drowning in Orange Juice
by Windswift
Summary: Drowning in orange juice is not an honorable death. But then, Shizuru is already fed up with Kazuma's honor code, saving the world, and chivalry of women staying home to look after the cat.


Disclaimer: YuYu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi

Set in the two months between Toguro's announcement of the Dark Tournament and when the Dark Tournament actually occurs.

The comment that "drowning in orange juice is not an honorable death" comes from a book by Diana Wynne Jones, and I believe the title is _Year of the Griffin,_ or something to that effect.

_**Drowning in Orange Juice**_

There were times he worried about Kurama's common sense. Like right now, for example.

He had come over this morning, earlier than most human boys would like to be awake on a Saturday. Shizuru had answered the door, shrugged, and invited him in for breakfast. And then proceeded to glare at Kazuma.

Kurama was serenely sipping his orange juice. She was still glaring.

If looks could kill, Kuwabara would have been floating away with that cute, chipper, yet dangerous girl, Botan, to see Yusuke's (and his, now?) boss, that little toddler. Or it was equally likely that Shizuru was glaring at his ghost out of spite. So much for death being a reprieve, then, unless he was truly still alive.

He absently swirled the orange juice in his cup, wondering if there was enough in which to drown. He might do it himself to end his misery if Shizuru did not get to him first.

Abruptly, he realized she was not giving him lethal looks anymore. Instead, she was glancing at Kurama. It was one of her calculating stares, curious and sly. Great, she had realized that Kurama was inhuman, and that something was in the works.

"Where are you guys off to today?"

The fox smiled brightly at her, as he had done every other time she asked that question. "Training." Then he set his cup down, murmured a polite excuse, got up from the table, and—Wait, he was leaving Kuwabara all alone with Shizuru! How dare he abandon his team mate, his comrade!

Shizuru took a drink from her cup, her face a calm contrast to the tight grip of her hands. Drowning in orange juice, he reflected, would not be an honorable death.

"Care to tell me why you've been training so hard over this last month, baby brother?" Her voice was light, which meant it carried an undertone of pure venom. Any way he chose to answer, he had already doomed himself.

Kuwabara fidgeted. "I can't use my reiken in a street fight, so he's helping me."

"Any particular reason," she drawled, "that you're so suddenly set on self-improvement?"

He was trapped now, cornered. "To beat the pants off Urameshi, of course."

She was drawing out the torture, keeping her face unreadable. Funny how she looked like Kurama with that expression, except that his hair was red and his eyes green. And that if you looked down to about chest height, you realized that Kurama was not a girl…

She sighed. "Look, my idiot brother, I'm not stupid. You're preparing for another 'save the world' mission, aren't you. Why don't you ever just _tell_ me?"

"Because you'll do like you just did and call me dumb?" Kuwabara ventured hesitantly.

The idea of pouring the remains of her orange juice into his bowl and shoving his head into it until she was satisfied that he had learned his lesson tempted Shizuru very much. He could be so infuriatingly ignorant at times! It was that ridiculous honor code of his—he seemed to believe he was the only one capable of, and responsible for, saving the world. And then he would never inform her of these escapades, because his sense of chivalry demanded that women be protected. He was her baby brother! _She_ chased down anyone who harmed him unfairly and taught them a good lesson, _she_ had the stronger sixth sense.

But he was so blind, so ungrateful, that he continuously left her at home to care for the darn cat!

Still, she had given Keiko her clothes and fended off their parents' single inquiry as to the dead boy in the guest bedroom. She had refrained from berating Kazuma when he had come home a few days after going to Genkai's temple for advice, with the distinct feeling that he had been severely injured and then healed by the famous spiritualist. She had also looked the other way when her brother vanished and returned with the dead boy in tow, who was now only half-dead, as well as the strange and bleeding redhead boy. Then he had rushed off to Honetadare Village, no explanation, no goodbye, and come back beaten and bloody. She would have yelled at him then, but he looked so upset and depressed that she did not have the heart to do so.

And now this. Whatever it was, Shizuru was determined to stick by his side, whether he liked it or not.

"Has it never occurred to you why Keiko tends to hit Yusuke whenever he returns?"

Kuwabara blinked; he had been contemplating his orange juice again. "You mean other than the times she smacks him for flipping her skirt?"

"She gets so furious," Shizuru elaborated, "because he goes off and does stupid things. Like thinking he can save the world all by himself. And thinking Keiko will be happier being clueless as to where he's gone and if he's okay, and being able to do nothing to help him. And leaving her behind to take care of Atsuko. Leaving them both behind."

He swirled the orange juice around a bit more. "Yeah, I can see why she'd get angry about that."

She resisted the urge to bang her head against the table, or his head against the wall, in frustration. Why did he not understand! "Wherever you're going this time, I'm going too!"

"It's not really a good place for women—"

"I am not 'women,' I am Kuwabara Shizuru, your big sister! And if you can't appreciate that, I'm going to beat some of that appreciation for my caring into your thick head!" She raised her glass threateningly.

A chuckle emanated from the doorway, accompanied by words. "Such a loving family." Kuwabara could not help but stare at him. It was official—Kurama completely lacked sanity, common sense, and self-preservation instincts.

"In any case, Shizuru-san, we need to be leaving now." Kurama bowed politely. Then again, anything that got Kuwabara away from Shizuru's wrath made up for the demon's suicidal tendencies.

Kazuma grabbed his bag and headed out the door, calling out "See ya, sis!" over his shoulder. So he missed Kurama leaning over to murmur in Shizuru's ear.

"We've got about a month left. I'll speak to Botan, she'll completely agree with your cause, and can probably convince Koenma to take all three of you along. So, no need to worry this time." And then he too was out the door, his brilliant emerald eyes sharing in her smirk.

Shizuru was left with Kurama's cup of orange juice, in which the remains of her brother's honor had been drowned.

**…****  
Owari  
…**

_-Windswift Shinju_


End file.
